A misconception of understanding

I look forward to the times that will become a gainful bliss emotionally and stagnantly. It makes me laugh and wonder if all that we come forth to appreciate is appreciated. with a base lump of unimaginable understanding fraught with pennies of bliss. I think I have come to the conclusion that so many people don't understand me. I don't understand myself. Its a rhyme less rhythm of mistakes and manageable faux pas that bring me to the realization that I don't have a clue really what I want. It comes from a hamsters mind that I not trust the wheel that I so have be come used to being part of my routine. I think of sorrows that i Laugh and spin in an interlude of mixed feelings that stain the fabric of my mind. I bring a laugh to some but to many I bring tears. I don't know if this was the reason for my bringing candles to a shower. I think the light would have brought my gloomy view to light with not so much as a voice of reason to turn around the uneasiness of longing. I don't think i truly understand the insatiable appetite of destruction. It feels good to bring down the walls that have surrounded my thoughts. I really wish I had the sledgehammer when the walls were in my way. I pushed through the caverns of darkness and pushed through to the other side. I brought about many feelings and conjured up memories long forgotten. I bring you a character with ill deceit and no feelings of pain or forgiveness to those that have hurt me most. I wander in the distance and in the pain of the rain coming down like a torrent of nails hindering my every move and sight. It doesn't make for much of a story if there is no pain. I don't know how to move into this new world. I am a lost soul moving endlessly through one piece of regret while the other piece of me is lost in a unmoving satisfaction. I think a loud and realize that the man in the black hat is staring me down. I gleefully look to him with no ounce of remorse. I look deeply into his eyes as he stares me down. I realize I have the upper hand in this situation. I realize that I have won the battle of words. I know that he has nothing on me today. There have not been many days that I could say I have the triumphed over the this man with a black hat. I polish off my apple jacks and drink the milky goodness that remains in my cereal bowl. I cherish these little moments and push past the cloud of self doubt and move towards that exist. The man in the black hat mutters under his breath that there will be a next time. I twist my entire body into his direction raise my index finger and look at him assertively. Today is my day you bastard. Today is mine.

Tired goodness with a measure of inadequacy?

I move onto a feeling of forgiveness to the man of time and tell him that I really don't understand how the things in life move onto other things that really don't have a say in your manners to the bedside chat. I move in bewilderment and bring a cushion of sorrow and think of ways that I can make this life a better table side chat with moves of a wild side and think that If I push five letters to a mix of wild words I may actually move into a better spot on this side of a metro rail with fingers to come about a iron side of indifference. I move with a mobility that dancers would be very jealous of. i move with a trepidation that schizophrenics would think was dangerous. i move with a indignation that would make a homeless man think it was a great idea to finally get a job. I think i would make five fathers proud that the came about without making a squeamish squirrel think he finally had a say in the matter of getting nuts into his nest so he can finally move into that condo he was thinking about surprising his family with. I don't know if the context of this letter makes sense. I move with the fine feathers ruffling over the ninety rolls of garlic cloves that came to celebrate the five virtues of insantiy and realized that It really doesn't make a difference if life after death equals chocolate covered bacon wrapped butter. I dream of indifference. I dream of night terrors that make no impact on my life. its the dreams that make the night better. It makes me think I finally have a chance to pursue the happiness in my life an not brood over the sad times that make up the majority of my life. I think of things to make widows weep. It makes some sense that I really I will be fine. But Im not really sure if i will be. was this all a trick? i don' know. I digress and move into a state of insanity that won't allow me to move. I move into a dialect that is kept for fools. I shine a light into the abyss and hope that i can move that light forward and realize that I was happy with minor details. Does the pursuit of happiness include bacon? I think if you realize that one move out weighs another than you have the horn by the bull. I mix things up to catch the eye. I don't mix batter to the questions of life. I know what it is. A color that you decided to pick. Its all your fault not mine. Its the first time I make you the guilty party.